I don’t know what I’m doing, as usual. It’s been three months. I didn’t find myself writing here weekly for the first time in years. I’m still writing in my notebook and in my googledocs. Still reading posts and books and articles from other writers I like.
I read that privacy is the ultimate luxury. Beyonce, right? Wealthy people with high walls around a fortress of a house. Having a blog is not very private, therefore not luxurious, but some of those lifestyle bloggers seem to have it figured out. Then again, luxury has never been my style (plus I love Instagram right now).
It was beginning to feel a bit performative. This page became a cheap way for people to feel like they could keep up with me without actually calling or texting or showing up. That’s my biggest beef with Facebook too. We are not friends because I’ve crept through your photos. We’re friends if I come to your happy hours and text you on your birthday and chat on the phone just because. Even if we don’t see each other often, we ask and listen to each other when we talk about jobs or family or politics or books and TV we love.
This became a place where I posted about all the fun I have on weekends. I love having those memories, but in real time it reminds me of the discontent I sometimes struggle with during the week. It was driving a wedge between fun Shannon and work Shannon when in the perfect world, the two would be getting closer.
Plus politics. That’s all I want to write about, but I’m not sure it belongs here. First, I love the news. Second, I recognize that it’s a privilege that most of the decisions the government makes do not directly affect my lifestyle. It would be easier to tune it out, but that’s not ok with me. I have strong opinions (surprise) that sometimes make people uncomfortable. It makes other people say, “You’ll never get a job if you post about politics.” I don’t know how that makes me feel.
Perhaps I needed a break. I’m not contractually obligated to show up here, so I made some space.
There are a lot of reasons I can point to, but I’m not sure which, if any, are true.
Same goes for this return. I can’t say why, but here goes.